Oh ladies. Do Becca and I have yet another single girl adventure for you! We really went into this with no expectations but I can honestly say of all the possible scenarios that had crossed our minds and what we actually became face to face with wasn’t even on our radar!
Before I begin, please know that I have nothing against Asians but am just not particularly attracted to them. Just not my cup of tea if you will. So please know the most definitely not politically correct commentary below is all in jest and not meant in a derogatory way.
Upon arriving at the Stoneleigh hotel bar last night we noticed a plethora of Asian men lingering and immediately double-checked our confirmation emails to ensure we didn’t accidentally click on the “Asian Invasion” Living Social speed dating groupon. My next thought was to look for a) a douchey club playing annoying house music b) some sort of tour bus outside and if any of them had cameras around their necks or c) signs to indicate some sort of IT conference being hosted at the hotel. My answers were no, no and possibly but when it was time to get our date on the Asians pounded their drinks just like us and proceeded alongside us in the death march to speed dating hell.
So I should break it down to how this works. You each have a date card where you can log the name and number (upon arrival you are assigned a number just like a cow in a herd of cattle) of each person. The girls stay put and the guys move and you get about 7 minutes to chat until the guys are tapped on the shoulder by one of the hosts. At the end of the evening, you write down your “Top 5 Date Mates” and turn in your card and later the speed dating gurus will play matchmaker and if anyone you chose also chose you then they will connect you. Seems like a good system, right? Well it would be if the girl to guy ratio was even instead of 2 to 1. There weren’t enough Asians to go around so we ladies ended up having to entertain ourselves or chat with one another during our down time. With that said, Becca and I made a very nice friend in our tablemate Amy J. I digress….
So yes, Becca and I were clearly visitors at the Asian Embassy but we rolled with it. Thankfully, these dudes were not, for lack of a better expression, “fresh off the boat” so everyone was Americanized and English-speaking – whew! However, nametags were NOT provided which would have been most helpful when I met Tung and Dang (and Anish – the token Indian guy). Actually, Dang had his very own catchline as when I leaned in as close as possible to try to catch his name for the third time he finally says “Dang. As in Dangerous”. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Got it. And now I will also never forget it J.
One tiny Asian revealed to us right when he sat down that he was drunk. He then giggled and said, “well, not drunk. Maybe a little buzzed. I had a bunch of drinks before to ease the nerves”. I appreciate your honesty tiny Asian. Prior to his confession Becca had the honor of him getting up to get bruschetta (just for him by the way, no gesture to ask if his lady friend might want a snack) during their chat. She turned to me in that moment and said “what does it say about you when your guy leaves to get food in the middle of your 7 minute conversation?”. Don’t take it personal Becca – our tiny drunk Asian just needed something to soak up the booze.
Lastly, the most awkward part of the entire evening had to be the valet line. There you are, no longer limited to just one Asian at a time, protected by the table or the guarantee that the conversation would last no longer than 7 minutes, but out in the open, vulnerable and unprotected. Finally after more than one awkward conversation – one in which tiny Asian Paul (not to be confused with tiny drunk Asian) informed us that this event was so much better than the last speed dating event he attended because people were less nervous (Oh Lord! These can be worse?) we again said a gratuitous “Nice to meet you” accompanied by an internal monologue of “Peace out. Sorry no Asians made it to my date card” and made a bee-line for Becca’s car when it finally arrived.
Did we have fun? Yes. Would we do it again? Probably not. It was entertaining as hell and we are proud of ourselves for trying something new. We both agreed this was the most adventurous thing we’ve ever done in terms of dating and it was going to make a helluva story. Now we can literally say we’ve tried everything. In all honesty, the guys were super nice and it wasn’t difficult to hold a conversation with most. The token Indian and token White guy we would consider having a drink with again but there were no immediate sparks flying. I’m certain we were a hit and there will be many Asian hearts breaking when they don’t get the opportunity to connect with us this week J. All in all – it was an EXPERIENCE.
