The Waiting Room

Mortality is defined as the state of being mortal, or susceptible to death. I suppose the moment when each of us realizes that we are getting older, we begrudgingly admit we are in fact adults, and we are forced to face our own and the people we love's mortality happens differently for every person. No matter what, it is a daunting moment. A true reality check. And let's face it, scary as hell.

A few months ago my Dad was having his annual physical and during a routine check with a stethoscope his doctor thought things sounded foggy when he listened near his neck. He referred him to a specialist in Abilene (a nearby "big" city compared to measly Brownwood) as he suspected some blockage in his carotid artery. My parents went and had tests done that concluded there was in fact blockage but the level was uncertain but enough (somewhere between 60%-85%) to warrant surgery. So three days later Jayne and I were en route to Abilene on a Thursday to meet my parents at the hospital so a thoracic surgeon could cut open my Dad's carotid artery and remove said blockage.

Here is a quick medical lesson for you if you haven't brushed up lately. And forgive me if you are in the medical profession and I am annihilating a true scientific explanation. You get the gist. The carotid arteries (you have one on the left and one on the right) are the largest in your body, supplies the head and neck with oxygenated blood and if punctured you can bleed out in minutes. Trust me you have seen someone stabbed in their carotid in a movie or TV show (Scandal Season 1 Finale for instance. RIP Gideon). It is also a way we can take a pulse. When it becomes blocked, it can cause a stroke or heart attack. So, even though this surgeon does this type of thing all the time and the surgery is only 90 minutes it is still very risky and the procedure could trigger a stroke as well.

Let me also preface this by saying that my Dad is a pretty healthy guy. He walks in the mornings, plays golf regularly, and pretty much eats exactly the same things my Mom eats and she is very health conscious and cooks balanced, nutritious meals. He had ZERO symptoms so this all happened pretty fast and we were unprepared.

The moments I will never forget are 1) after the pre-anestesia our family correcting the anestesiologists that instead of him being about three margaritas in he was a scotch man so he was more like two scotchy wotchy's in - haha, we Cavetts like to keep things light 2) holding hands with my Dad, Mom, Sister and our Pastor saying a prayer before they wheeled my Dad off to surgery 3) Seeing for the first time in my life a bit of worry and uncertainty in my Mom's eyes. And for those of you that know Debbie, she is the strongest person I know and always keeps it together. She is the rock of the family 4) The waiting. The waiting room sucks. For those of you who have been there, it SUCKS. You think about a lot - what if that was the last time your family was all together? What was the last thing you said to your Father? Was it the right thing? Was he scared? How can you support your Mom? What if he survives but is comes back different? The four of us are as close as a family comes and it wouldn't be the same without our Dad. But you have to stay calm and pray and know that there is no reason to think of those things and wait for the good news when the doctor comes out and says "it went well. he is in recovery".

And that is exactly what happened. He was/is fine! Happy moments I will remember are 1) hearing those words "it went well. he is in recovery" 2) seeing him awake and lucid in recovery, albeit he still had tubes everywhere so that was still scary and 3) the support of our family and my parents friends who were either there with us (shout out Kathy & Dennis James!) or texting, calling and emailing for updates. Today, my Dad is as good as new! Barely even a scar. In fact, when people ask him how he is feeling he says "I feel great. I never felt bad to begin with!". The scary thing is that his artery was over 90% blocked! The doctor even brought out the nasty, fatty stuff and showed us (I spared you all on this one and decided not to upload a pic). We were VERY lucky that for whatever reason my Dad hadn't already suffered a heart attack or stroke and even luckier that my Dad's regular doctor payed attention during a standard exam and got my Dad to the right doctor. And I am even MORE thankful that my Dad takes care of himself and actually goes to the doctor! Who knows where we would be sitting now as a family if he didn't do his due diligence for his health.

Point is, we are getting older and so are our parents and loved ones. We are all mortal, susceptible to death, but we do have some control over how we can live long, healthy lives. Be thankful you are here and take care of yourself and encourage your loved ones to as well.

And for those of you who weren't as lucky as our family was this time and have lost a loved one I am truly sorry and can't imagine what that is like. I do know that you know what the waiting room is like and I am sorry for any of you who have had to experience it, whatever the outcome. My prayers are with you and yours - always.

And thank you to Dr. Mark Martin of Brownwood, TX and Dr. Scott Crocker of Abilene Medical Center in Abilene, TX and the nurses and staff for helping our family through a scary day and taking care of my Dad!

When You Fall – Get Up And Tri Tri Again

For those of you that read my Jessica vs.Triathlon post a few months ago, you may have heard that the Triathlon won. Meaning I wasn’t able to complete it due to an injury I endured the week before the race. Insert sad face here. While I still plan on completing one either this summer or fall after I have fully recovered, I have been reminded by many friends and family members that the journey I’ve been on the past four months is just as important and might even surpass the experience of the race itself. Upon much reflection, and trust me I’ve had plenty of time on my hands to reflect, and finally coming out of the fog of pain medication I thought it might help me heal to share that journey.

If you recall, this was a pretty big challenge for me as I was a complete novice when it came to swimming and cycling. Yes, I could “swim” and “ride a bike” but those are both VERY different than competing in the actual sport of swimming (in open water I might add) and truly cycling on a road bike. My first time in the pool was quite comical and my coaches and I all wondered if I could get there. And the first time I took out my bike I was such a dope that I didn’t even realize that my gears weren’t working! I told you, NOVICE. So, it didn’t take long for me to realize that this was going to take a lot of discipline, focus, time, and flat our WORK to get to where I needed to be by race day. And if you know me at all, when I am in – I am IN. So, I grabbed the bull by the horns and hit my training plan hard.

Swimming

This was my biggest challenge by far but you just have to get your butt to the pool and work. My training group unfortunately had their group swims during the week on a night that I could never attend due to another commitment (should out Major League Bocce Dallas!) so I was really hurting for some help. I spent one short session in the pool with one of my coaches who gave me some fantastic tips to start with including how to breath (pretty important one!) and later in my training got some great advice from a friend with a background in swimming and diving (Holla Wendy O’Connell) but I swear to you I learned everything else from Olympian Swimmer Ryan Lochte’s new reality show “What Would Ryan Lochte Do?”. Oh how I wish there was a “sarcastic” font. KIDDING. I learned everything else from Your Tube. Seriously, You Tube is the greatest thing on earth. You want to know how to do ANYTHING you can “You Tube It”. And that includes swimming! I watched countless videos, read articles, bought buoys and hand paddles for drills and each week I could feel things start to really “click”. When my coaches saw me in the pool again a month or so after that first day they were in shock! My improvement continued through our transition into open water swimming but then there was a whole other new series of things to learn like a) how to put on and pull off a wetsuit by yourself (and living with how super sexy you look in said wetsuit) b) how to control your breathing in cold water and while getting hit in the face with waves c) how to use more arm power than legs as you want to save your legs for the other two events d) how to “sight” or “spot” as unlike swimming in a pool you have to look up while swimming in open water to know where you are going and many more things like getting used to being in a gross lake with your face staring down at nasty green water! Good news was it took one training swim on an evening in bad, windy weather and super choppy water for me to conquer it all and feel completely comfortable swimming in open water. Yay!

Cycling

Although new to this sport it wasn’t as hard to adjust to as swimming but there was still a lot to learn. I now know why cyclists wear special tops or sometimes have bandanas over their mouths. BUGS! Another lesson learned the hard way, but depending on the trail or time of day or even type of day you may sail into a swarm of bugs at 20 miles per hour and it is disgusting. Lance Armstrong duped us all in more way than one as it takes more skill and practice than you think balance grabbing your water bottle and taking a drink while maintaining your speed and direction on your bike using just one arm. There were a few times I thought I might bite it or miss my bottle holder completely when putting my water bottle back! Windy days suck. Hills suck. I mean hills REALLY suck. Puddles suck. And cars suck. I now have an entirely new appreciation and understanding of cyclists. For cars my advice is, just drive! Just drive like normal and we will work around you. It makes it worse when you are scared to pass us or wait too long at the stop sign or whatever. We know we make you nervous but you make us more nervous so just be cool. It is way easier for you to stop then us to stop as our feet are strapped into our pedals! And I’ve already given you my rant about the bike shorts but just wait until you’ve ridden in wet tri/bike shorts – no fun! I never got to where I loved going for a ride but it was a nice alternative to doing something active outside instead of running.

Running

As you know, I’m already a runner so this was easy-peasy for me. And I learned that for all athletes that attempt their first Triathlon it is typically easiest for a runner because that is the sport that the majority of people struggle with the most. Great news for me! The run is the last part of the race and comes directly after the bike so the hardest part is the transition your legs have to make as the first mile they feel like lead! Tip: if you put your bike into a “spin” meaning you are barely using any force from your legs but literally are just spinning your wheels about a half mile to mile out from your transition area your legs will adjust much faster. The biggest thing to remember here is to take off your bike helmet before you take of running. Trust me, people do it.

Transitions

I had no idea how all this worked before I started my training. I hadn’t even watched a triathlon on television. I just knew it involved three sports but had no clue how you transitioned to each during a race. First of all most triathletes wear what you call a “Tri Suit”. The shorts are spandex and have padding like true bike shorts but less of it and made of material that absorbs water (remember – you will be swimming in these bad boys). The top is also spandex and very, very tight and is typically sleeveless and is also super dry fit to absorb water/moisture. Some people wear the one pieces but I preferred the top/bottom option (again, nothing about a Triathlon is attractive so you just learn to go with it). At all Tri’s there is a place called a “transition area” where you put all your crap before the race. You don’t have much room and you start in the water so you are already wearing your tri suit, wet suit, cap and goggles so you have to have your bike, helmet, sunglasses, bike shoes, socks, running shoes, sunglasses, towel, nutrition and whatever else you think you need all ready to go and easily accessible so you won’t take forever during a transition or get in anyone else’s way. This is very important as when you come flying in after an event and are trying to get moving to the next one it is a cluster and if your stuff isn’t organized it can really hold you up or stress you out. One Saturday training we did two “mini” Tri’s so we could get the feel of jumping from one event to the next. It was madness but gave me a great idea of what race day would be like and how insane it is to literally jump out of the water, onto the bike and then take off running. It’s insane really but I loved it. Even though it was practice it was hard for me to not “race” and my coaches placed bets on me on if I would catch the boys in the run – they got to know me pretty well. And if you are wondering, yes, I did catch them and beat them J.

Team In Training

I am beyond thankful that I decided to train with Team In Training for this event. My coaches (Paul, Tim & Jen) were all incredibly inspiring people and they were so patient and encouraging and motivating to all of us. I can’t imagine having taken this all on without them. And if you think I’m crazy with all my physical challenges, etc. you have no idea what crazy is! These people do Triathlons and Marathons and Iron Mans and any other race you can think of practically every month AND they still make time to be there for us twice a week, plan our trainings, answer our questions, etc. They are truly inspirational! My team was also amazing. We had men and women ranging from 25 to 70, Singles, Moms, Dads, Grandparents, one Married couple. Some newbies to Tri’s and some veterans. We had a blast and were truly a support system for each other. I was most disappointed to not get to compete with them on race day and share that moment with them after sharing so much blood and sweat (no tears at least) with them over the past few months. Some of us are talking about doing a Triathlon together in July so I’m hoping that works out.

The Accident

To give you some background, the weeks before a Marathon or a more running-heavy race you do what we call “taper”. You slow down the training – you run less days, shorter distances, etc. Your body is ready so you really just need to stretch your legs and rest. For a Triathlon, you do a similar process but not as extreme of a back off so you still have several workouts the week before the race but again they may be a little shorter or less intense as during prime training time. I say this because some wonder why I was out riding my bike 5 days before my race and the answer is because I was supposed to be! It was my last training ride – a 30 minute “light spin”. And in all fairness, I did complete that workout but with a bumb arm, jacked up bike and several bloody limbs J.

I was riding over a bridge on a trail at White Rock Lake near my house so I was already going downhill, was directly behind another bike, and approaching a sharp turn that forked into a road that pedestrians, cyclists and cars all used. So, there was a lot going on and I was riding defensively as I should. I admit that it wasn’t my typical route as I was taking a short cut since my ride didn’t have to be as long and I mis-judged the turn. While I took it too sharply, it would have been fine had the grass and trail been flush but instead there was a huge gap/hole between the two and my front tire went directly into said hole and there was no turning back at that point. I saw it right before I hit it and knew what was coming. The rest is a bit of a blur but I ended up landing on my left side, not sure what hit first, and skidding across the pavement, banging my head against the ground (Thank God I finally learned how to wear that helmet!). My left knee, right thumb and left shoulder were all skinned and bleeding and my left elbow and arm were pounding. I got up pretty quickly and a few people nearby asked if I was okay (shout out to the homeless man taking a nap on the grass by the water) and I brushed them off being in a state of shock, pain and embarrassment. I tried to get back on my bike but the chain was loose so I fixed that, added greasy hands to my list of troubles, and took off. I considered turning around to go back towards my car but still being in race-preparing-mode I didn’t want my last memory of being on a bike on race day to be me crashing so I wanted to settle in again and get comfortable. So – off the bloody, greasy, crying mess of me went. I realize this sounds crazy to the “normal” person but when you are an athlete at heart your nature is to push yourself when it hurts and sometimes it takes a while to realize your body limits. My arm continued to throb, swell and become difficult to bear weight, move, etc. so I knew something was up. Being stubborn and sure I just “stung” it on my fall I popped some Motrin and still drove to book club that night, despite the protests of my passenger, (what’s up Renee Harris) and sat quietly with an ice pack. My friends knew something was wrong as at this point I couldn’t even straighten or bend my arm it was so swollen and it HURT. The rest of the evening was a painful nightmare and I was terrified of what I might learn the next day at the doctor. Here are a few pics for your viewing pleasure.

 

Full Body Shot - Right After I Got Home

Ouch - Nice Chain  Grease

Starting to Swell...

These Cuts Were Actually Really Deep
Not Sure How My Right Hand Got In This Mess

The next day consisted of a visit to PrimaCare, Xrays, prescriptions for antibiotic cream and pain killers. They sent me to an Imaging center for an MRI later in the day. The following day was an appointment with my Orthopedic doctor (yes, I have two actually already from previous injuries) and the results of my MRI. While all had laughed in my face when I asked about the possibility of racing that Sunday, the final diagnosis of a fractured radial head (part of your inner elbow) in addition to road burn, bruised/cracked ribs, severely contusions and sprains in my elbow, arm and wrist it was clear that I would not be competing or finishing my first Triathlon. Instead I would be visiting the Physical Therapist for the next 4 weeks and doping myself on pain meds and anti-inflammatories until further notice. Good news was no surgery and apparently this is the best elbow injury you can have as it heals quickly and you typically re-gain full mobility.

Two Days Post-Accident
Wicked Road Burn and Hella Swollen

Moment of Truth - No Triathlon For Me

However, this was heartbreaking. If you have ever done anything like this, it takes over your life. Your entire world changes to evolving around when you can fit workouts in, what equipment you need, watching you tube videos and reading articles, paying attention to what you eat, sacrificing work or social time to train, rest or prepare, etc. Not to mention that it is just physically exhausting. My point is I had worked VERY hard for 4 months and sacrificed a lot, body-mind-soul, to accomplish this goal and now I wouldn’t even get the chance to try.

 

And for the record, I do mumble a curse word or two every time I drive by the stupid scene of the "crime". It will be interesting the first time I ride past it!

Recovery

Thankfully, I have the most supportive friends, family and colleagues in the world so there was no lack of love coming my way. And let’s be honest, it could have been MUCH worse so I was thankful to be relatively healthy with a short recovery time! So, after I threw myself a drugged up pity party in my super sexy sling and bandages for a week or so I launched into physical therapy twice a week, progressively started using my arm more, upgraded to a compression sleeve and then an elbow support brace, and weaned off the pain meds. Once the swelling went down, I had the most trouble with rotating my arm so things like round-brush blow drying my hair, unscrewing a bottle cap or twisting a door knob hurt like hell! While my therapist did give me the okay to try running after two and a half weeks, she did warn me that I would “pay to play”. Meaning I wouldn’t hurt my elbow, arm, wrist or ribs any MORE by running but it might not feel so good and was it really worth it? The answer was, No. It was not really worth it. Haha. I tried running one day and my ribs and arm were throbbing so badly with just a few strides in I had the mental discussion with myself reminding me that I was not an Olympian who needed to push through this run and was an average Joe who probably needed a few more weeks of rest. Dammit.  

Today, I am happy to report that just one month after my injury I am almost good as new, minus a few scars from my road burn that are still healing nicely J I still have a little bit of stiffness and limited mobility in my elbow but the majority of the issues are with my arm and wrist. Apparently, fractures, or the type and location of mine, heal pretty quickly but it is the sprains and such that are more of the problem. I’m not quite back to 100% in terms of weight bearing (can’t use just my left arm to bear my weight to get up off the floor, lean on a bike, etc.) BUT I have officially started to run and swim again and it feels great!

One of my goals this year was to complete a Triathlon and although I didn’t get to do the first one I signed up and trained for I still have it on my list for 2013 J. Call me crazy!  And for those of you who donated to Team In Training/LLS on my behalf to reach my fundraising goal you will be happy to know that the majority of what I raised can go towards my goal if I decide to sign up to train with TNT again in the fall. Thank you again for your support both financially and emotionally and I will let you know when I reach this goal!