He Said..., She Said WTF!?!

Ladies, let's take some time to reflect on some of the more poignant things a man has said to us that are so ridiculous they warrant a blog post. This post is pure entertainment and has no silver lining or deeper meaning!

Although many are from personal experience, I have to thank my friends for sharing some of these as I have not been so lucky to have experienced them all first-hand.

Let's get together sometime
Yes, let’s. Eh hem, this is your cue to get my number, ask me out, Facebook friend me…SOMETHING! Honestly, what are we supposed to do with this statement?

We will definitely see each other again
Will we? Are you interested in portraying a real-life version of the Serendipity movie plot? Are you John Cusack or am I? Why are we chancing this to fate again?

I'm sorry I slept with you
Oh. My. God. First of all, I’m pretty sure you are not sorry about that. Perhaps you are sorry that you are ending things the morning after but you are not sorry you got laid. Honestly, just lock it up and go.

I'll call you later
An oldie but a goodie. It seems so direct and simple but as I and many of you know if we held our breath every time a man said this to us we would all be six feet under. Why say it if you don’t mean it? Apparently, they can’t just say “Goodbye” but are possessed to leave us hanging to make themselves feel better. Argh.

It was just drinks
Indeed it was, however, last I checked drinks is a date. Drinks with canoodling, a good night kiss and plans for a second date is most certainly a date. So that line isn’t going to work with me or your girlfriend that I was not aware of. Suck it.

I thought we were just drunk
So comforting, am I right ladies? So when we talked about really dating, when you kissed me for the first time and told me how much you liked me - we were just drunk!?!?! I wish I would have gotten that memo. Bright side: I guess I'm not free on Tuesday.

I think pretty highly of myself
Well, la-dee-freakin-da. Good for you. Typically, if this is a feeling that overwhelms you then you don’t have to verbalize it as we can CLEARLY tell. Thanks for the honesty I guess.

I'm not sure why we stopped talking
I am. I saw you holding hands with a girl a month after we stopped talking. I think it is pretty clear why we stopped talking. I hope she will enjoy all the trips you and I discussed taking.

I'm really busy with work right now
Translation: I'm lazy or I don't want to date you. Honestly, woman are "very busy with work" sometimes too but since we are the "better half" as they say we have superwoman powers that allow us to spin many plates at once and do it all. We rock.

I didn't mean to kiss you
Hmmmm. Well no one pushed you into my face or put a gun to your head so I’m not sure how to respond to this. You didn’t mean to walk me to my car, hold my hand, ask to see me again and then lean in and put your lips on mine? Repeatedly. You didn’t mean to?

I don't have the desire to be sweet, loving or romantic
If this isn’t clear as crystal I’m not sure what is. You may as well wear a t-shirt that says WANTED: F#@% BUDDY. No thanks.