Wednesday, July 3, 2013

I Just Don't Understand Why You Are Still Single

I Just Don't Understand Why You Are Still Single. How many times have you heard this comment? While it is meant to be complimentary because it is typically followed up by "you're so smart" or "you're so pretty" or "you're such a catch - any guy would be lucky to have you" it is really just uncomfortable and a little rude to be honest (especially if coming from a stranger or some lady who goes to church with your Mom). And while it is also meant to be rhetorical, my girlfriends and I thought it might be funny to start answering it and see just how uncomfortable things could really get :-). Some possible answers might be...
DISCLAIMER: No, these are not true, they are meant to be ridiculous and funny. Just go with it.

  • It probably has something to do with my small boobs and love handles. I mean, I've ruled everything else out so that is probably it.
  • The ankle bracelet tends to scare people off.
  • I mean, there is my small drinking problem and I tend to be clingy so that is a possibility.
  • That STD I got last summer might have something to do with it.
  • I assume it is my dolls. They make most men uncomfortable.
  • I'm in my 30s now so my number is pretty high and some guys just aren't okay with it.
  • I make too much money and it can intimidate men.
  • My red room of pain isn't for everyone so I am waiting for that special guy who is into S&M.
  • Most men can't deal with all of my cats.
  • I'm a lesbian so dating men has been pretty difficult.
  • Well, I am secretly a man so that can be surprising for people.
  • Living with multiple personality disorder is difficult. Gina doesn't always agree with my choice of men.
  • My furry personality is a kangaroo but some people are put off by me wearing a giant animal costume in bed.
  • I have Daddy issues so...
  • I've gotten some feedback that my deadorant doesn't work too well so that could be it.
  • The whole binge and purge thing is tough to pull off well on a date. Plus, I usually forget breath mints.
  • Men find it awkward that I invite my Mom on all my dates. We are very close.
  • Didn't I tell you?! I'm celibate now.
  • Sometimes my teeth get in the way and I hear that's not good.
  • Because I'd rather be single and free than trapped in a loveless relationship.
To be clear, the discussion over why some of us are still single and why some have been lucky enough to have found the one is a common one that we ladies chat about all the time. This post is about the people that you don't really know that well who make comments about your love life or comment to your parents, sister, friends about it. It is typically followed by "Don't worry, you will find someone special" in which I want to reply to random friend-of-a-friend at a wedding "I'm not worried but thanks. It seems you are much more uncomfortable with me being single than I am!". And for the record, being pretty or smart or a catch doesn't guarantee you a relationship but thanks for the compliment. haha. Anyhoo, it's just a funny scenario we singles encounter from time to time so I thought I would blog about it. I hope it made you laugh and brought back some memories of these moments for you.
#notbitter #wewillallfindsomeoneoneday #loveyouall

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