Working 9 to 5: To My Fellow Working Women

I was recently promoted - new title, big salary bump, higher bonus percentage, the works! And I gotta tell you it feels good. But I gotta tell you something else. I didn't get it just because I'm super awesome at my job, and I am of course. I got it because I asked for it.

Lesson #1: Ask and You Shall Receive

Not always, but what is the harm in asking!?!?! Everyone knows that women typically make less money than men because they don't ask! Not because men are smarter, tougher or better but because they have the figurative balls to ask for what they want and deserve. Seriously, ladies. It is 2012 (almost 2013!) - the era of women asking for what they want and taking control of their own lives (in bed, at home and in the workplace!). You don't have to let your balls hang out of your skirt but you can be just as aggressive as a man and make your case for what you deserve. You can do it!

Lesson #2: Build Your Case

I've been doing this since my very first "real" job. Every "good job" or "thanks so much" email I receive from my boss, a coworker or client - I save in a special file. You never know when you might need back up or proof of your awesomeness so be sure to document all the accolades you receive so you can have them in your back pocket if need be. Building a case also applies to those sticky situations where you may be having issues with a colleague or even your boss. Keep it all in writing. If you have a meeting where you both agree to certain deliverables and timelines, write a re-cap email and send to the others to document what was agreed upon. Again - if anyone tries to throw you under the bus (and trust me, they will at some point in your career) then you have documentation that you held up your end of the bargain. Cover your bases!

Lesson #3: Performance Reviews are Your Friend

I know many people who are just terrified of performance review time (if they get one at all). Don't run away from it - embrace it! Performance Reviews are not just a time for your boss to decide if you get a merit increase or bonus and assign you some random rating that is supposed to summarize an entire year of effort. They are also YOUR chance to remind your boss of all your accomplishments, additional work you took on during the year and share with them your career aspirations and goals for the upcoming year.

Prepare! Prepare! Prepare! Similar to Lesson #2, you should be updating your goals throughout the year so you will be ready to sum it all up during performance review time. If you aren't having regular 1:1's with your boss, schedule them yourself. Connecting just once a month to discuss current projects, accomplishments, and future workload will help you ensure you are meeting their expectations for you and give you the opportunity to remind them how valuable you are all year long instead of just at the end! And remember that your boss most likely has multiple direct reports and a ton on their own plate so they need the reminder to fully assess your body of work. Don't think of it has bragging but of owning your work. You deserve it!

Lesson #4: Dress For Success

Even though it is almost 2013 there are still some double-standards in the workplace for us as women. You can't win them all so learn to live within it. You have to find a balance with your style in the office - professional but not stuffy or unattractive but cute and classy but not too provocative. It's a tough line ladies. Here is the deal - for the male audience you must find the balance of being attractive enough for them to pay attention to you but not too attractive that they are distracted by you and don't respect you. For your female colleagues - you have to be attractive and polished enough to earn their respect as a fellow woman but not too attractive or pretty to be viewed as threatening and provoke jealousy. Ultimately, what matters most is the level of work you produce and if you sound intelligent and competent when you open your mouth but let's face it, it might take people a while to catch on to what you are saying and respect you professionally if you look like you just climbed down off the stage after working the pole. Keep it classy ladies.

Lesson #5: Junior High Lasts Forever

My Mom used to tell me this all the time as I was growing up. No matter what age you are, you will find yourself in a junior-high-drama scenario every now and then. I think you know this but I'll just say it. Women are catty. It never goes away and you will have days where you just wish you worked with all men so you wouldn't have to "play the game" with the other women in the office. I don't have any real advice here except to not be surprised when you can't understand why your female colleague didn't invite you to lunch yesterday or took your favorite pen. It happens. Deal with it. And try your best to stay out of it. My goal is typically to be cool enough for the "in crowd" to where they like me and I'm not the topic of their gossip but on the outer circle enough to where I'm not involved in the gossiping and back-stabbing and can sleep at night :-)

Lesson #6: The Generation Gap is Real

I recently attended a workshop that focused on the state of the workplace nowadays and it was mind blowing. Historically, this is the first time EVER that we have had this many generations working at the same time - in some organizations there may be up to five generations on one team! I can read the research all day long but let me tell you I have lived this one ladies. Thirty years (hell even 10 years!) can make a BIG difference in how a person communicates and the battle between old school vs. new school ways of thinking is alive and well. Email vs. Phone calls, Excel Files vs. Notes, Online Systems vs. Manual Files  - it's a mess! Not to mention the differing views on vacation, flexible work schedules, blackberry's and dress code. But we all have to come to an agreement to work together and get things done. My best advice here is to always consider your audience. If a more tenured colleague barely ever emails you but typically comes by your desk show them the same courtesy and chances are you will get more from them in that 5-10 minute face-to-face conversation than pinging them every day on email. If your millennial new hire asks for time off around the holidays and then submits a PTO request for three weeks you will need to have a conversation about expectations that you assumed were known by all of your employees. You may have to step outside of YOUR comfort zone to connect with others. Conquer the gap and learn to navigate multi-generational workforce!

Lesson #7: Dipping Your Pen in the Company Ink

Or I suppose for us it is better said as "letting your ink be dipped by the company pen" :-). I can honestly say that I have never engaged in a workplace romance or office fling. Sure I've worked with fun, good-looking men but I've honestly never had a romantic thought about anyone I've worked with and I can't really say whether there hasn't been a connection or whether I am so shut off to the idea that a connection wouldn't happen anyway. So, since I have no experience here I will tell you what I have learned by observation. This is typically not a good plan. I have witnessed a few successful, long-term relationships that started in the cubicles but one half of the couple usually ended up finding other employment fairly early in the relationship to avoid the office romance label. There are just SO many things that can go wrong (secrets, judgement, fights, break ups, etc) and not to mention many companies have a policy against it! I would tread carefully here, make a list of pros vs. cons before engaging in anything with a coworker or perhaps change jobs. But in the end ask yourself - Is it worth it?